Fe - Fi - Fo - Fum

 

Yeah I admit it, I've been grumpy lately. Grumpy might be putting it mildly, perhaps more like Oscar the Grouch on steroids.

 

Recently I realized it is more than just being grumpy. I find that I don't want to go anywhere, do anything, see anyone or talk with anyone. Nothing seems to make me happy and even things I normally enjoy doing aren't giving me pleasure. If I were a turtle I'd swim to the bottom of the deepest pond, settle down into its soft, muddy bed, tuck my head inside my shell and remain there for as long as possible.

 

Also the fact that my hubby was recently diagnosed with prostate cancer has definitely contributed to my lackluster spirit. So yes, grumpy is now beginning to look a lot like depression. Fortunately my hubby is basically in good health and the cancer is in its first stage. According to the urologist it is a very slow growing cancer, so John is a prime candidate for low dose chemo therapy, which minimizes the side affects and damage to nearby healthy tissue. He will begin treatment in March and will have to have low dose radiation treatments daily for nine weeks.

 

Hopefully my mood will improve soon - if not I guess I'll need to see my doctor or a therapist . . . or both! Until then please do be patient with me and forgive me for my "downer" blog postings. I realize that 99.9% of blog readers want a happy, chirpy post, full of motivation and inspiration and though I must admit I have never been a constantly perky, perpetually cheery individual, I have never been this down for this long.

Wishing you all well and wishing you happiness.

Where Have The Lilies Gone ???

I have returned and you will find that lilies have nothing what-so-ever to do with this post other than they are pretty and cheerful and at the moment there are none to be found in my flowerbeds or my life. 
Were I to say that my blog absence was due to some exotic trip or bold new adventure would be, well it would be an outright lie!  What I've truly been doing for the past several weeks is wallowing in a pit of depression.   Depression self-inflicted in part by self-pity, of bemoaning my lackluster etsy shop and beating myself up over things that I've little or no control over. 

My daughter called me a few weeks ago.  She was in tears and bawling as though her heart would break.  Reason ?  She just found out her oldest son's girlfriend is pregnant.  Bad news? Yes.  Heartbreaking news? Yes. End of the World news?   Not quite. 

My oldest grandson is 21, his girlfriend is slightly younger.  Both have minimal educations and minimal paying jobs.  Yes the pregnancy was an accident, unplanned.  She was taking birth control pills and then was put on antibiotics for a sinus infection.  Guess she didn't read the precautions that came with her meds.  When on a course of antibiotics and taking birth control pills, one should take extra precautions and use an alternative method of birth control.  A fact that obviously slipped under their radar.

It took my daughter a couple of days to get over the disappointment and of course she now understands just how I felt when I found out she, my then 19 year old daughter, was going to be a Mommy.  She was too young to be a mother ... I wanted her to go to college, get a degree ... she had such promise, such potential.  Hell I was too young to be a grandmother !!!!  And now it's come around full circle.  Such is life.  Funny life !  Uncontrollable life ! 

Now what am I going to do ?   What's my daughter,who insists she's going to be a nana and not a granny, going to do ? Well first of all, if she's going to be a nana then I'm going to be a grana.  Next  we'll go shopping for baby items  together and then we'll sit down and start planning a baby shower for our future grandchild and great-grandchild.

We all sit at life's poker table and try to make the most with the cards we're dealt. Sometimes the cards contain a few queens or kings, other times we're lucky to just get a pair of deuces.
Life's too short to fret over things beyond one's power and I've heard it said that if you concentrate on the big things the important matters in life, then all the small things, all that not so important stuff takes care of itself.  True perhaps, but even truer is the fact that no amount of worry is going to make things better.   And so THAT'S MY 2 CENTS FOR WHAT IT'S WORTH.