Friday, March 23, 2012

Dealing with the DNA Cards

photo above ... close to 30 years ago, me on the left in the blue; my taller cousin Annamaria on the right ... I don't think I need to mention that she also carries a lot more baggage on her top self than I do.

Looking  myself over, from head to toe, I began to wonder why the Master Creator never gave me a say in my choices or options as to what specific genes I would like to carry.  Why did it have to be such a blind potluck ?   Perhaps those perfect runway models are content with the genetic cards they were dealt but as for me I would have liked to have had some say in the matter.

Master Creator, "Okay now, how would you like to have your mother's varicose veins?"
Me, "I'd rather not, if you don't mind.  But thanks for asking."

Master Creator, "How do you feel about boobs?"
Me, "Well they would be nice.  What are my choices?"
Master Creator, "Well let's see now: you could either have small, teeny, tiny boobs like your grandmother Della, on your father's side; or you can have the more voluptuous breasts that your Italian mother and her side of the family possess."
Me,"Hmm, ample boobs or hardly-there boobs?  I, think I'll go with my mother's genes on that one, if you'd be so kind."

Master Creator, "How do you feel about height?  Your dad's tall,  six foot two, and so's most of his side of the family.  On the other hand, your mom is just pushing four feet ten and most of her clan is also short in stature."
Me, "Now that's a toughie.  Petite or tall?  Tall like the girl from Ipanema; being able to reach things without the aid of a step stool; being able to look over the head of that annoyingly tall person that always, always sits in front of me at the movie theaters?  You guessed it MC, tall it is!"

To be honest the Master Creator wouldn't have needed to personally ask my preferences just give me a check list of all my options so I could have checked off the ones I would have preferred.
Thin, fragile fingernails that chip easily or thick, healthy nails that can grow long and lovely?  Hum, no brainer that one !

Teeth: mother's large teeth that will require the extraction of 4 molars and then, later, the extraction of 4 wisdom teeth plus 4 or more years in orthodontics . . . or father's smaller teeth that will require very little in the way of extractions and orthodontic care?   Oh, gosh!  Let me see.  Geez, I'm not a big fan of pain and discomfort so guess I'll opt for my father's genomes on that one.

Yes the list could go on . . . and on;  but we all know that, unfortunately, we're not given the option of choosing the genomes of the body that will ultimately hold our souls.  Such a pity !


  1. Right now I think I got the worse from everyone :(

    But oh it would have been nice to have had a choice, I agree :)

    I am sooo jealous of your warm weather it snowed here yesterday so, so weird :(

    my poor Daffs got smushed :(

    Oh well, hopefully it is over now but more rain to came, I need to look at my San Diego photos and try and remember what warm is LOL!!

    Have a lovely weekend, cheers, T. :)

  2. I got the shortness gene from my mom and her side of the family, too. So I understand! It's so weird to be 32 and to look 12. I also got the going-white-early gene from my dad, so I'll be 35 with Einstein hair, I'm sure.

    On the other hand, you and I got brains and creativity. That's a pretty good deal. :)

  3. This made me laugh! I too would have liked a say so in what I'm made of. I would have opted for healthy instead of autoimmune lol.

  4. I'm right there with you, it is a complete bummer we're not allowed to pick for ourselves! I would definitely have chosen a bit taller (I'm just asking for 4-5 inches here, nothing drastic) but for the same reason as you. Stuff on the top shelf (and buying pants!) is so much easier when you have height.

    But I will refute one of your points. I was a gal with a pretty small set of twins growing up. No back pain, no problem if I wanted to wear cute sundresses or lower necklines, no problem if I went braless. About 5 years ago they started to grow mysteriously (what do you mean put down the box of Cheez-its and step away from the submarine sandwiches? No way my butt gained as much as my boobs...) and now they're much closer to my Grandmother's. Recoculously too big. I'm constantly uncomfortable, no bras fit me correctly, working out is a literal pain in the chin, half my wardrobe had to be donated because it wasn't made of stretchy enough material to cover the mountain range.

    I'd give anything for my 32 year old chest again. You can live happily knowing you won't have sag my friend ;-)

  5. Jenn -
    Unfortunate as it may seem, even small breasts eventually succumb to the inevitable force of gravity. The only difference between bigger breasts and smaller breasts is just how far they have to travel. :(

  6. I nearly spit out my coffee at this post! I wish we would have had checklists. So sorry I have been absent. You know DRAMA! Yuck!

    Hugs Always!

  7. Made me laugh!! I almost spit out my coffee on the monitor. :-p

    Isn't it funny when we look at ourselves and get critical, things we'd change or do without all together. We all have them for included. I do find as I've gotten older though I've definitely become more content in my own seems to fit better in a way. I can almost guarantee that even the models that walk the runway (who for the most part IMHO are way too skinny and rather odd looking) have their insecurities as well.

    Personally...I think you are quite lovely just as you are. :-)

    Wishing you a Happy Monday!

  8. A checklist would have been wonderful! There are so many things I would change, but I have learned to live with what I got so everyday I just try to make the best of it. Have a great day!
    Everyday Inspired

  9. Chuckle! Great post! Ah, we are all never satisfied with what we have!

  10. I've often wondered the same things! Sometimes we would joke that I only inherited the genes that were hated by the women in both my mother's and father's families. [And of course my little brother only got the opposite!]


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