Friday, July 20, 2012

Continuation of the Riveting Tale of Etsia by Cabaret Ghost Productions

And so the saga of Etsia continues ... who shall prevail ?  The titillating tale of truth triumphanting over terror continues with Heidi O'Brien's wondrous satire ...
"So, Baron Von Reseller, you thought it would be great laughs to abduct my wife, did you?"'
Count Upcyledonio stood upright on the rafters, his moustache shining sleek in the shadows.

" Is this true, Baron?" bellowed Sir Reginald.

The Integrity team stood to the ready, swords and arrows sharp and erect.
"There are rumors, Baron, that you behead stolen brides and put them in your cupboard of doom. If this is correct, then your own head will be adorned on the Hipster Pike of Shame on the towers of Brooklyn Castle. Release the woman I love or I shall fall on you from this great height", the Count spread out his arms like a bird on a stenciled canvas tote bag and prepared to leap.

"Collective DEACTIVATE!" yelled the Baron, and his cyborg helpers separated with much whirring and clicking of cogs, until there were again hundreds of machines on the factory floor.
"Minions, guard my collection of headless brides - and make sure the new one is still held captive in the cellar."

" ARABELLA!" cried the Count as he jumped from the rafters and hurled himself downwards towards the evil baron.

The Baron simply chuckled and held up a copper arrow that looked suspiciously like merchandise from a popular trilogy . Before the Count was pierced by its copyright- infringing point, Sir Reginald threw a spiked cease and desist ball and it splintered into a thousand pieces.

The army circled the Baron, their shirtless chests and well-toned arms tensed for action.
With a wave of his hand, the Baron made the signal to his minions to take aim from their miniature canon-ball eye-sockets. There was a great burst of smoke and a shower of indifferent sparks, but when it all cleared it was revealed that the canons had not fired.

"Who is the head engineer?" screamed the Baron. "Step forward!"

A quivering mound of clockwork pieces wheeled a few centimeters towards its master, it's spherical head cast downwards.
"Well congratulations you buffoon" the Baron dripped with the drippiest drips of sarcasm to ever drip from a villain's mouth. "You have won the 'Three-Armed Blunder Vest Award'. I do hope you are happy."

"This has gone on long enough!' broke in the Count. 'There will be no more beheaded brides in Etsia!"

"And there will be no more mills owned by the Baron Von Reseller!" added Sir Reginald.

With a great roar, the noble knights swarmed the factory floor, their swords of justice swinging and their tight trousers bursting with nobility and courage.

Cogs and springs and coils and pieces of machinery evocative of a more oldey-worldey time flew through the air as swords flashed and knuckles punched through metal rib-cages. The Baron and his minions were no match for the strength and cunning invested in the Integrity army of Etsia. The floor was streaked with chevron lines of blood mixed with oil, the air smelt of sweat and the stale cupcake stench of fear.
Soon, all that was left of the Baron's collective was the Baron himself.

"It shall be you and I," said the Count, "in a duel to the death. You may choose your weapon." 

"Let it be me," said Sir Reginald. "It would be my honor to fight on behalf of my long-time friend and one-time nemesis. I believe we are half cousins too, I think that was mentioned somewhere?"

"True, we are," nodded the Count. "Old schoolmates as well, cavorting happily in the nursery in our short pants, playing soldiers. Funny that we should fight side by side now, as we did in our long ago games of chivalry."

"Don't forget our exploits at the university," chuckled Sir Reginald. "The songs we sang, the women we courted...those sad and sweet moments of first love that we confided in each other...the secrets and hopes for the future that we..."


Sir Reginald produced two hot-glue guns from his weapon-pack and threw one to the outstretched hand of the Baron.

"What in damnation is this?" asked the Baron. "How could such a contraption work?"

"I should have known that a Von Reseller would never have touched one of these in his life," smiled Sir Reginald as he held up his hot-glue gun and made ready to take aim...


Credits for story and imagination go to:

Author: Heidi O'Brien

Heidi O'Brien's CaberetGhost facebook page: CabaretGhostProductions
Blogger is being a b_ _ _ _ today and I'm having trouble getting it to put in the links. here are Heidi's links . 


  1. I lost it at "the stale cupcake stench of fear"! Heidi is hysterically funny and awesome with words and storytelling! I'm going to share on FB and Twitter later.

  2. And so Sir Reginald prevails, foiling his evil foe with a hot glue gun!!

  3. Pearl - Heidi does have a wonderful gift of wit and humor mixed in with a very active imagination. Thank you for sharing her tale with others. She also has a fairly new and rather unique etsy shop.

  4. Sarah - Ah, but does he? Pehaps ... yet Heidi leaves that to our own imagination. :)

  5. I'm so glad I have a hot glue gun at the ready, LOL!!!!

    It does make you wonder about Etsy but it is also great to keep our sense of humour :)

    Have a lovely weekend, Anna, and thanks for sharing this, cheers, T. :)


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